Poor Sex in Silicon Valley

No less than Peter Thiel provides called the gleaming center of America’s technology sector a
entirely sexless place.
But men and women perform in reality get laid in Silicon Valley, as tv show

Silicon Valley

lately dramatized. After a lot more than three months of present in a sexless, screen-filled hell, bumbling programmer Richard Hendricks ultimately had gender: an illegal tryst along with his primary customer’s fiancée, in an office summit area, late at night.

But as

Silicon Valley

is all of our many honest, precise portrayal of life among the list of programmers, Richard couldn’t emerge a sexual dynamo. He could have eventually reached perform gender on a full time income breathing lady, but there clearly was no postcoital shine. «Worst gender I’ve ever endured,» says Liz, the woman the guy mauled along with his arms. Additionally: «how often did the teeth clink?» Additionally: «Once I got my personal top off, you truly mentioned the term ‘Gulp.’»

Had been this depiction of tilted, uncomfortable, passionless gender truthful? The Cut asked ladies to fairly share their encounters sleeping with guys in Valley, to discover whether Richard Hendricks’s intimate initiatives felt par for the training course, worse than something they’d previously skilled, or, gulp, better.

Silicon Valley

article authors, feel free to take these for next season.

«Gyno-style clinical exploration»

Back in the day, I dated an engineer which felt well-socialized sufficient … but by the time we had gotten right down to company, it actually was clear i may have offered him extreme credit.

We had kissed prior to and it also wasn’t fantastic, but I was happy to have an extra go, figuring that the first-time nerves might have obtained in how. NOPE. Within minutes their tongue was actually windshield-wiping my personal front teeth and trying out my personal gag reflexes via some aggressive neck pokes. Next came the arms. Left hand got remaining boob. Firm squeeze. Right hand hit for correct boob, squeeze. (He performed involve some health education … so maybe he believed breast tests privately switched on females?)

After he had repeated this tongue/hands combo a couple of times, without warning: fingers towards snatch. Maybe not for clit-caressing and/or similar … this was some gyno-style medical exploration.

We stop this quickly, and attempted to treat it as a teachable minute, but after talking/a few even more efforts, the guy voiced that he actually recommended his technical intimate method, and we parted ways.

«the guy questioned myself if I would shower ahead of time»

My personal terrible sex tale with a technology bro was like getting the Keenan personality from Silicon Valley. He had been genuinely confused as to the reasons he had beenn’t getting just what the guy wished, precisely at that time! It was not about genuine intercourse — we don’t get that far — such as their need beforehand. He was one particular brawny start up higher-ups who seriously will get countless women to accomplish exactly what he wants. I happened to be typically on the big date with him because he had been hot. I went home with him and he requested myself basically would BATHE ahead of time, as if which were more typical part of globally. I found myself only a little shocked but was courteous about any of it — only asserted that didn’t turn me on and that I didn’t really want to get my personal hair moist and was actually that basically a deal-breaker for him? In which he was like, «this is certainly unusual, I’ve never really had a female work so insulted from this request. Will you really perhaps not do that?» Not really dangerous, merely sincerely flummoxed like no-one had ever rejected him everything prior to.

Sooner or later i acquired visibly agitated and then he failed to fight, merely sort of want shrugged their arms and stated, «that is my main point here, i am sorry about that.» Timeless tech-bro entitlement. So I kept. Its a famous tale among my friends.

«No-cost condoms from work»

There seemed to be this package man from Bing who wouldn’t get condoms. He recommended using cost-free condoms from work. And indeed — there were bluish, green, orange, and purple types, the same as Bing’s marketing.

«it absolutely was also odd»

I found myself residing in san francisco bay area and met this person on some backdoor dating site — we hooked up frequently for about 6 months. He was the President of a gaming start-up. He had this good attic in S.F., that I would visit all the time, and he in addition held a second apartment in nyc. After we wound up in New York on the other hand. And so I went house with him.

We walk-in and has now all identical furnishings as their san francisco bay area apartment. Everything. The exact same carpet, similar weird dining-table table. It absolutely was as well strange.

We couldn’t rest with each other. I happened to be want, «I’ll have one glass of h2o,» and I kept.

«everyone sync up our Google calendars»

I’d divide many qualified men into two camps: (1) tech/engineer bros that are brilliant but lack emotional understanding, and (2) counterculture hipsters seeking include that their particular polyamorous scenarios rather than thinking about conventional interactions.

I sought out with a huge technical professional for somewhat over annually — super brilliant, Ph.D. in computer system research, etc. In addition, had not ever been in a significant union longer than ten months. Oh, and he had never ever had gender with anybody prior to. But somehow, extremely into cosplay! I believe like he had been into every outfit under the sun … professor/student, handyman/housewife, football player/ref … not to mention

GoT

, normally!

The polyamorous folk i’ve only a little significantly less persistence for, because it’s normally beneath the guise of being Totally Alternative And Anti-Mainstream Because no body Features Actually ever Done This Before Okay? Additionally a great deal scheduling! I went on some dates with a guy just who made an effort to force polyamory on me personally (that is unique of an easy open union, given that it implies numerous parallel relationships). The guy truly lost me in the, «Well, we-all sync up our Google calendars» bit. Maybe not beautiful!

«Being jackhammered»

I think

Silicon Valley

is spot-on. I do believe possibly the very nerdy dudes — like not the brogrammers, the extremely nerdy men — are only truly uncomfortable in bed. I have invested 10 years surviving in the Valley — I live in San Francisco today — so I’ve slept using my great amount. This isn’t like some dudes; this is exactly a lot of them. They don’t really prefer to change it out up. It really is such as the same task continuously — the same place, same routine, same activity. There is this entire, want, «Wow, am we obtaining put?» mindset during intercourse. In my opinion the most typical way to explain gender with a Silicon Valley professional will be jackhammered. That’s what truly. It’s not gender. I don’t know exactly what this is but it is perhaps not intercourse. And they are therefore proud of themselves afterward, i cannot also say everything mean.

«in which’d he get???»

I found myself recently starting up with a «friend» in technology who’s type of abysmal at communication. He would already been heading down on myself then merely puts a stop to cold and walks out the room door. I am feeling really shameful and uncomfortable — want,

Where’d the guy get???

And then we listen to a wrapper becoming unwrapped. He is merely, like, walked away in the exact middle of this passionate time to get a condom on without stating EVERYTHING. I just can not imagine getting so awkward/bad at communication that you wouldn’t resemble, «Hey, must I get a condom?» instead of just practically walking-out in the exact middle of foreplay to visit wrap it up, specifically because this could be the first time we ever endured gender and now we understood one another pretty much. Did not stop me from resting with him once more (whoops).

«Multiple-orgasms great»

In all honesty truly the only tech man we ever before hooked up with was … fantastic. Multiple-orgasms fantastic. But i ought to remember that he had been brief and not that great and enthusiastic about his pet.